2024 the best meaning review

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“Incredibly rich with wisdom and insight that will leave the reader, whether single or married, feeling uplifted.” —The Washington Times

Based on the acclaimed sermon series by New York Times bestselling author Timothy Keller, this book shows everyone—Christians, skeptics, singles, longtime married couples, and those about to be engaged—the vision of what marriage should be according to the Bible.

Modern culture would have you believe that everyone has a soul mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that your spouse is there to help you realize your potential; that marriage does not mean forever, but merely for now; and that starting over after a divorce is the best solution to seemingly intractable marriage issues. But these modern-day assumptions are wrong. Timothy Keller, with insights from Kathy, his wife of thirty-seven years, shows marriage to be a glorious relationship that is also misunderstood and mysterious. The Meaning of Marriage offers instruction on how to have a successful marriage, and is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Books; Reprint edition (November 5, 2013)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1594631875
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1594631870
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.11 x 0.95 x 7.94 inches
Reviewer: Tim Challies
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: My Favorite Marriage Book
Review: It must be intimidating to write a book on marriage. Store shelves are groaning under the weight of titles that claim to have the key to a happy marriage, or a biblical marriage or a gospel-centered marriage. To rise above such a crowded field a book needs to offer something different, something unique, something that distinguishes it from the pack. Tim and Kathy Keller have jumped into the fray with their new book The Meaning of Marriage and the distinguishing feature of their book is a deep gospel-centeredness. This leads the Kellers to invite the reader deep into the gospel of Jesus Christ and also compels them to show how the gospel extends to every part of marriage.Though The Meaning of Marriage is written primarily by Tim Keller, his wife Kathy contributes in several ways, and most notably by contributing one of the chapters and by being the wife to whom Tim has been married for almost four decades. Tim explains that the book has three deep roots. The first of these is his marriage to Kathy, the second is his long pastoral ministry, particularly in New York City in a church dominated by singles, and the third and most foundational is the biblical teaching on marriage as found in both the Old and New Testaments. "Nearly four decades ago, as theological students, Kathy and I studied the Biblical teachings on sex, gender, and marriage. Over the next fifteen years, we worked them out in our own marriage. Then, over the last twenty-two years, we have used what we learned from both Scripture and experience to guide, encourage, counsel, and instruct young urban adults with regard to sex and marriage." They speak from the powerful combination of Scriptural grounding and real-world experience.The book is comprised of eight chapters that flow logically from the biblical basis for marriage all the way to the sexual relationship within marriage. In chapter 1 they offer the very basic biblical teachings on marriage, showing how marriage is God's idea and that it is meant to reflect the saving love of God for us in Jesus Christ. In chapter 2 they show how the work of the Holy Spirit is fundamental to battling the main enemy of marriage: sinful self-centeredness. Chapter 3 is about love, looking at how the feeling of love relates (or doesn't relate) to actions of love. Chapter 4, "The Mission of Marriage," turns to the purpose of marriage and offers a long discussion of spiritual friendship while chapter 5, "Loving the Stranger," teaches three skills that every husband and wife ought to pursue.Chapter 6, written by Kathy, celebrates the differences between the sexes, looking to the tricky subject of gender roles and complementarity. Singleness and wise thinking about pursuing marriage are the subjects of chapter 7 and the final chapter looks to the sexual relationship, showing why the Bible roots sex in marriage and how this relationship can best be celebrated within marriage.Gospel, Gospel and More GospelI said from the outset that the distinguishing feature of this book is its deep dependence on the gospel. This distinguishing feature is also the book's greatest strength. Marriage simply cannot be properly understood or practiced without being rooted in the gospel. "If God had the gospel of Jesus's salvation in mind when he established marriage, then marriage only `works' to the degree that it approximates the pattern of God's self-giving love in Christ." For that reason the book goes nowhere until Keller has first exposited Ephesians 5 where we are told that marriage is a "profound mystery," that reflects the relationship of Christ and the church. Next to our relationship with God, there is no relationship more important than marriage, "and that is why, like knowing God himself, coming to know and love your spouse is difficult and painful yet rewarding and wondrous. The most painful, the most wonderful--this is the Biblical understanding of marriage, and there has never been a more important time to lift it up and give it prominence in our culture."When Keller moves to "The Power For Marriage," the subject of chapter 2, he again builds from the gospel. Jesus Christ did not leave us on our own, but provided the Holy Spirit as the power to fight against and overcome sin. "The Holy Spirit's task is to unfold the meaning of Jesus's person and work to believers in such a way that the glory of it--its infinite importance and beauty--is brought home to the mind and heart." And when it is brought home to the mind and heart, it works itself out in marriage. This counters the self-centeredness that is intrinsic to our sinful natures. "To have a marriage that sings requires a Spirit-created ability to serve, to take yourself out of your own. The Spirit's work of making the gospel real to the heart weakens the self-centeredness of the soul. ... The deep happiness that marriage can bring, then, lies on the far side of sacrificial service in the power of the Spirit."This gospel focus continues chapter-after-chapter, underlying discussions of friendship, singleness, sex, and complementary roles.Covenant RenewalThe chapter on sex merits special mention for its power and careful attention to dignity. Keller begins by showing why it is so important that sex remains within the context of marriage. Only then does he turn to the actual ways that a husband and wife relate within the sexual relationship. Setting the sexual relationship within the greater context of the marriage covenant, Keller says that sex is a kind of covenant renewal ceremony in which you "rekindle the heart and renew the commitment" already made. "There must be an opportunity to recall all that the other person means to you and to give yourself anew. Sex between a husband and a wife is the unique way to do that." He goes on to say, "Sex is God's appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, `I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.' You must not use sex to say anything less."Only a few pages are given to "The Importance of Erotic Love in Marriage" but they are instructive. They focus less on deeds than on the motives of the gospel-centered heart. "The Christian teaching is that sex is primarily a way to know God and build community, and, if you use it for those things rather than for your own personal satisfaction, it will lead to greater fulfillment than you can imagine." I dare say that by the time you've read this final chapter, you will want to run to your spouse and make love just to experience all the joy and fulfillment that the sexual relationship brings. It won't be about trying this or attempting that--not primarily--but just enjoying the beauty of what God has given us in the gifts of marriage and love-making.A component of the book that merits special attention is its usefulness to singles. Keller's church is comprised predominantly of singles and anything he teaches must be applicable to them. This leads him to focus a significant portion of this book on being single and on pursuing marriage. What he teaches will be encouraging and helpful to those who have chosen a life of singleness and for those who are seeking a spouse.ConclusionThis is a powerful book; it is my new favorite book on marriage and the best of all the books I read in 2011. The Meaning of Marriage elevates marriage, making it something beautiful and holy and lovely. And with it comes friendship and companionship and sex and everything else God has packaged into the marriage relationship. This book celebrates it all and it does it within the greatest context of all--the gospel of Jesus Christ.Having read the book through two times, I've found myself wondering how to best measure or evaluate it, but perhaps these criteria are useful: Would I want to read it with my wife or would I encourage her to read it on her own? Would I recommend it to the people in my church? In both cases the answer is an unreserved yes. In fact, I bought the audio book and listened to it with my wife and her assessment is the same as mine: Though there are many great books on marriage, this is the one we will recommend first.

Reviewer: JustinHoca
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Begin with this book.
Review: The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy KellerThis is the best book I have read on marriage, and I recommend it to anyone from singles who are thinking about dating to those whose marriages are severely strained. It developed out of sermons to Keller's church in NYC that is heavily populated by singles who are marriage skeptics. Singles may have to wait a few chapters to get to Keller's most relevant points for them, but it is worth it. There are some problematic statements that keep this book from "perfect." But a lot of gold nuggets. Like all Tim Keller books, it is thoroughly researched and rich in biblical commentary.My key takeaways:The authors, quoting Duke University professor Stanley Hauerwas: "(W)e always marry the wrong person. We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or even if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she will change. For marriage, being [the enormous thing it is] means we are not the same person after we have entered it. The primary problem is . . . learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married."As Keller reiterates: "No two people are compatible."That is the most important takeaway that I find contrary to either what most people under 40 believe today or what culture teaches. As I heard someone put it recently, "we don't just marry one person for life, we marry 30 different people with the same name." Bodies and minds change, preferences and hobbies change, nothing can be predicted. What marriage (ideally) creates is a legal and social commitment of one person to another to support one another through all of those things.This begs the question: Then whom should we marry? The Kellers give some advice, while acknowledging at the beginning of the book that they are personally friends with couples with long marriages among people who are quite different from one another culturally and in personalities. In short, they recommend considering marrying one of your good friends. He recommends finding someone that you can currently see God working in and in which you would enjoy being part of the project."Ultimately, your marriage partner should be part of what could be called your 'mythos.' C. S. Lewis spoke of a 'secret thread' that unites every person’s favorite books, music, places, or pastimes.""Comprehensive attraction is something that you can begin to sense with people if you deliberately disable the default 'money, looks, and polish' screening mode."When can you begin to be confident you're ready for marriage with your potential spouse?"Have you been through and solved a few sharp conflicts? Have you been through a cycle of repenting and forgiving? Have each of you shown the other that you can make changes out of love for the other?" And are you in a Christian community with other married couples and singles you can learn from and can hold you accountable?Keller deals significantly and usefully with the issue of sex, as many in his congregation have cohabited and our culture strongly suggests that sexual fulfillment as a fundamental right."One reason we can burn with seemingly uncontrollable sexual passion is because, at the moment, our hearts believe the lie that if we have a great, romantic, sexual experience, we will finally feel deeply fulfilled.""Sex is for fully committed relationships because it is a foretaste of the joy that comes from being in complete union with God through Christ...We look to sex and romance to give us what we used to get from faith in God...Only meeting Christ face-to-face will fill the emptiness in our hearts that sin created when we lost our unbroken fellowship with him."The cautions the authors list about the downsides of sex outside of marriage are both biblical and practical Sex has "power to soften your heart toward another person and make you more trusting." This makes it harder to end the relationship and ignore troubling warning signs. You may trust that a person is faithful, but outside the covenant of marriage that other person has no legal or or social obligation to you.Keller pushes back on a troubling cultural trend noted in surveys of what people want from marriage. Namely, that singles want the freedom to keep being themselves while also demanding a partner who will fulfill them sexually and intellectually without asking for any sacrifices or change. Keller notes "this is antithetical to biblical marriage." The reality is that marriage exposes our selfishness. We see our partner's selfishness and he or she sees ours. Biblical marriage is two people involved in a higher goal of helping the other be more holy. It involves two committed partners building trust while pointing out the sins and selfishness in the other and working towards greater improvement and harmony."While it is true that some 45 percent of marriages end in divorce, by far the greatest percentage of divorces happen to those who marry before the age of eighteen, who have dropped out of high school, and who have had a baby together before marrying... if you are a reasonably well-educated person with a decent income, come from an intact family and are religious, and marry after twenty-five without having a baby first, your chances of divorce are low indeed.”"All surveys tell us that the number of married people who say they are 'very happy' in their marriages is high—about 61–62 percent—and there has been little decrease in this figure during the last decade."However, the authors make at least one incorrect interpretation of data, stating: "two-thirds of those unhappy marriages out there will become happy within five years if people stay married and do not get divorced." It seems to be an incomplete fragment from a survey on a particular datapoint. It cannot logically be the case that 2/3 of all people surveyed at any point of the happiness or despair in their marriage will be happy within five years no matter what, which is how the authors present this fractured datapoint. I say that as someone in a struggling marriage that got worse, not matter, over the last five years of it.In all, I give this book five stars and recommend it to anyone. Christian libraries are filled with marriage books and it seems every known pastor feels obligated to write his own take. But this one eclipses most that I have read so far, and I think Keller's experience with a more diverse and challenging audience in New York really pays off in his writing.

Reviewer: Anne
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Excellent in every way
Review: Timothy Keller writes a raw, poetic, vulnerable, and real first-hand account of what a Christian marriage should be (as well as a chapter from his wife on what it means to be a godly wife). A refreshing dose of truth in an age where lies about love prevail.

Reviewer: Jes
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Mein Mann und ich mit unser Pastor haben diese Buch für unser Ehe-Vorbereitung. Alle Themen waren drin. Ist wirklich zu empfehlen.

Reviewer: Sirisha Kengam
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: I love it. Very informative and beautifully explained about marriage. Very useful for Christian youngsters who are preparing for wedding.

Reviewer: Hello you
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: A profound book about what is marriage, a meaningful, non-superficial marriage from a non-worldly standpoint. Some particular parts are intriguing and thoughts provoking. Highly recommended.

Reviewer: Karen Acosta
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Totalmente recomendado !!!

Reviewer: Brian & Gel Smith
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: This takes awhile to read as it is long but requires a lot of thought but as a husband or wife you will experience a breakthrough in your marriage if you apply this book.