2024 the best of enemies real life review

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"With uncommon sensitivity and intelligence... [this] book offers parents a window into their kids' often tumultuous relationships with classmates." - Time

Friends broaden our children’s horizons, share their joys and secrets, and accompany them on their journeys into ever wider worlds. But friends can also gossip and betray, tease and exclude. Children can cause untold suffering, not only for their peers but for parents as well. In this wise and insightful book, psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., and children’s book author Catherine O’Neill Grace, illuminate the crucial and often hidden role that friendship plays in the lives of children from birth through adolescence.

Drawing on fascinating new research as well as their own extensive experience in schools, Thompson and Grace demonstrate that children’s friendships begin early–in infancy–and run exceptionally deep in intensity and loyalty. As children grow, their friendships become more complex and layered but also more emotionally fraught, marked by both extraordinary intimacy and bewildering cruelty. As parents, we watch, and often live through vicariously, the tumult that our children experience as they encounter the “cool” crowd, shifting alliances, bullies, and disloyal best friends.

Best Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them.

Filled with anecdotes that ring amazingly true to life, Best Friends, Worst Enemies probes the magic and the heartbreak that all children experience with their friends. Parents, teachers, counselors–indeed anyone who cares about children–will find this an eye-opening and wonderfully affirming book.

"Relevant and compelling... Parents will be wiser for reading." - The Boston Globe

"The stories in this book come from many perspectives - those of therapists, educators, and parents. The wise, kind authors give us a fresh and cogent analysis of this critically important issue." - Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ballantine Books; Reprint edition (July 30, 2002)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 034544289X
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0345442895
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.52 x 0.7 x 8.18 inches
Reviewer: B.S.
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Surprisingly Insightful!
Review: I have read many books about bullying among preteens in the last couple years. But this is the first one I've read that gives true insight to the multilayered dynamics of the kids' relationships -- how each impacts the other. Why they are "mean" one day and loving the next. Friendships that adults may see as dysfunctional (and would/should flee), but why kids have learned to cope with them, with compassion and understanding and how important these friendships are to their development. Some ("friendships") should, of course, be avoided, but many cannot be and should not be. The real-life examples cited in the book are realistic scenarios which allow the reader to relate. This book was recommended to all middle school parents by our school principal, so I felt obligated to take a look at it. But reading it also gave me insight to how well he (the principal) must understand our children at this age -- and that has been a real comfort. After reading this book, I have a better understanding of how to empower my children, how to help them identify and avoid potential conflicts or victimizations -- without adult involvement. Of course much of this comes from maturity -- of which they have more this year than last -- and can thus now navigate these situations better on their own. Importantly, this also changes the balance of power/relationships and the group dynamics. As a result, I am more relaxed knowing the children feel more confident and empowered. I highly recommend this book.

Reviewer: rita
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: new perspective
Review: It's a very interesting book that gives us a new perspective about children and the relationships they establish. How to deal with it, what to do, what not to do. it's a great book for professionals and parents as well.

Reviewer: Rocco B. Rubino
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: If you have children, or work with them, this is for you!
Review: Michael Thompson, Ph.D. is the author of the bestseller "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. His latest, written with compassion, humor, and practicality, is an insightful look into the sometimes mysterious world of child development.As a special education teacher, and soon to be school counselor, I have long held that those who have children, and work with children need a keener understanding on why children do the things they do, if we are to care for them, and serve them better. This book will go along way in fostering this understanding among parents, teachers, and practioners because it helps us understand how a child views her world.Written in conjuction with journalist Catherine O'Neill Grace and Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D. "Best Friends, Worst Enemies..." provides such a keen insight into the social lives of children, it is almost as if it was written by a child, because they have such an excellent perspective.

Reviewer: Bronte
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: What a wonderful book! Very well-written and engaging
Review: What a wonderful book! Very well-written and engaging. I'm not quite finished with it yet, but I find the information very useful and insightful. I find myself sharing what I'm learning from this book with both other teachers and parents. I highly recommend this book!

Reviewer: Beth
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Highly recommended for parents and teachers
Review: This was an incredibly insightful book about the social lives of children. As a parent of two boys--10 and 7--I saw many of the situations they experience in the book. It also helped relieve my anxiety about how to deal with the inevitable conflict that comes from interaction with other children, especially in school. One of the most valuable insights was the idea that parents should not "interview for pain". In other words, don't repeatedly ask about the trouble your child has had with kid x because it reinforces the negative, and does not acknowledge the fact that kids get over hurts far more quickly than adults. Highly recommended for parents and teachers.

Reviewer: Ck Duvall
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Four Stars
Review: Good overview of the role of friends in children's development. Easy and enjoyable to read.

Reviewer: Alessandraital
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Best Friends, Worst Enemies by Michael Thompson
Review: Michael Thompson's, Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children is the best book there is about the psycho-social development of children. It's readable for everyone, though it was a developmental psychologist who recommended it to me initially. I've since sent it to every mother I know and they've all done the same for their friends who have children. Dr. Thompson spoke at our local school, a lab school on the UCLA campus, and the kids, from 5 years to 11 years, and teachers alike were mesmerized. Dr. Thompson was born to do what he does. I used his book as a guide in the emotional growth of my own son.

Reviewer: Ceara
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Wonderful
Review: This book is so powerful. As a parent or educator, it takes you on a step by step journey of the stages your child will encounter as he/she grows up. I learned so much. I would recommend this book to anyone who is going to have a baby. Be prepared. I wish I had read it before my child was born rather than years after.

Reviewer: George
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Everything including delivery was as promised.

Reviewer: Katie
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: A must read for any parent!!! Easy to read and a great advice book. It helps to worry less 😊

Reviewer: Scooby Doo
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: This is an excellent book - I just wanted to confirm what the other reviewer has said