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Did you know the last fight you had with your spouse began long before you even met?
 
Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again?
 
Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you:

* identify your personal love style
* understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse
* break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck
* find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms
* create the close, nourishing relationship you dream about

Revised throughout with all-new material and additional visual diagrams, this expanded edition of How We Love will bring vibrant life to your marriage. Are you ready for a new journey of love?
 
Note: The revised and expanded How We Love Workbook is available separately.

Publisher ‏ : ‎ WaterBrook; Expanded edition (July 11, 2017)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0735290172
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0735290174
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.99 x 0.9 x 9.01 inches
Reviewer: Gia
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Excellent!
Review: I have yet to finish the book, but what I have learned so far has been monumental. I wish I would have has this book before marriage!

Reviewer: DragonMom3
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Buy the book!!
Review: This book improved our marriage, and helped us to understand each other through a new lense. My husband and I both really enjoyed this book. We’ve gifted it to several others since reading. Highly recommend!!!

Reviewer: TammieC
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Simply the best!!!!!!
Review: There is only one way to rate this book...amazing! It has absolutely changed my life. I often tell people that other than the Bible this is the best book I have ever read. The authors are so transparent about their lives and their experiences that you almost feel like you know them. It will bring about change and healing like you have never experienced before.When I first read the foreword by Steve Auterburn he closes with a personal money back guaruntee. I thought to myself "I'm sure the book is good Steve, but come on". After reading it I understand why he is able to make such a guaruntee. When you are the real deal you stand behind what you are selling. Although in this case what is being sold is a guide to living a better life through self awareness. By understanding who you are, you are able to be a better you, have better relationships, especially the relationship with your spouse and have a better quality of life.I am a vacillator(get the book) and after sharing what I have learned in the book with my friends,it appears that I am an avoider magnet because my spouse and all of my close friends are avoiders. I purchased four copies of the book for my friends because I truly believe that it will change their lives as it has changed mine. The feedback I have received is just what I expected...WOW!!!I will close with this. How We love is an invaluable resource that I believe is a must have for any couple who wants to repair their marriage or have a great marriage. If I had the information contained in this book earlier I would still be married. Most of us believe you get what you pay for, but with this book I would strongly disagree. You are getting a Mercedes at a volkswagon price. Enjoy!

Reviewer: Bor
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: great book
Review: great book

Reviewer: Yoselina Alvarez
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Easy Read
Review: Very interesting book and easy to understand. Dives into the reason why we do what we do, in accordance to childhood.

Reviewer: Lila
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Pivotal real science peppered with religious babble
Review: I say this with the deepest respect, as I grew up in a Christian household: I wish I could recommend this book to more people. It is an excellent source of cutting edge revolutionary science on how to relate and heal with other human beings. However, I'd have to gift my secular friends with a black Sharpie were I to buy this for them so they could scratch out the religious mumbo jumbo. Some of the passages, theology, and references sited are fairly sound in their application to the material, but some of it is a fluffy round peg squished and stuffed into an oval -- kind of contrived. I understand that the authors purposely targeted a Christian audience, so the book had to be written in this way. There is *so* much gaslighting from pulpits everywhere about practically everything, including the idea that psychology is unnecessary or even harmful (all you need is the Bible, right?), forgetting the fact that the God who authored the Bible also authored His Creation (including humans!) which we study through science (including psychology!). Christian researchers who want to be heard at all have to weave religious jargon into their works. If you are a Christian and benefit from religion being interwoven into your scientific studies, this book will change your life. If you are secular and can let your eyes periodically glaze over, this book will also also change your life. It's **excellent**.

Reviewer: Paul H.
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Fantastic book!
Review: This book is a must-have for married couples. I'm on my second marriage (my first wife passed away) and recently decided to go see a therapist. I hope that my wife will join me later. I've been to six other therapists in my life, including four with my late wife, and one with my current wife. My current therapist recommended this book. He's the first therapist to take the psychodynamic approach of looking at how your childhood shapes your ability to relate to others, especially in the marriage relationship. This book explains the different types of love "imprints" which come out of various types of family of origin experiences. Most people were not taught by their parents how to deal with their feelings, and in many households there is also abuse, addiction, abandonment, absenteism, and other dysfunction issues. This book will show you where you fit on the spectrum, and give you tools for how to relate better to your spouse. I highly recommend the book. It could literally change your life!

Reviewer: David Lietz
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: I have a counselor friend who built her entire practise around this book, because it works!

Reviewer: Giovanna
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Libro interesante

Reviewer: Amy
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Highly recommended,for christian and non christian couples,get the how we love our children aswell if you have kids.

Reviewer: King abc
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: Gives deep insights into functions and dysfunctions of attachment.

Reviewer: Andy Fraser
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title:
Review: This is a book for counsellors and for people who want to understand themselves in the light of attachment theory. It's written by practising counsellors and comes to life by the telling of real-life stories as it looks at the 6 main love-styles we may find ourselves living out.Your experience of attachment to parents in early years will have shaped you in one direction or another when it comes to close friendships and especially romantic relationships. As a qualified counsellor myself, I've learned a lot about myself as I've used the questionnaires in the book and also helped others to reflect on their own patterns of behaviour, using them. This is one of my top 3 or 4 books on making marriage work, although of course it will help you understand how you tend to form any kind of relationship. I highly recommend it.